When I came to Chennai searching for a job, I had a roommate named Raja .He is the eldest son of a family of five chidren, in a village near Tirunelveli. Being born and brought up in a traditional middle class, he respected family values much. He is hard working, a bit brilliant, outspoken , clever, a proud son to his parent, a caring and responsible brother to his sibs. He was such a responsible son, that he did not spent unneccesarily. He started his career as a trainer in a software institute , then became a software developer and today he is in singapore working for a multinational banking company, leading a happy, hassle free, wealthy life and earning in $$$. He was completely responsible for bringing up his brothers and sister. Two of his brothers are engineers, one is an advocate and his sister got married recently.
After fulfiling his responsiblities he is getting married now. He is marrying a girl from a different country, religion, culture and language. Like every typical Indian parents, his parents also did not agree and he has to fight for convincing his parents and relatives to marry the girl whom he adores most. Finally he persuaded his parents and his marriage is in Tirunelvi - a hindu marriage in typical south Indian style. He has expressed ( infact blasted) his feelings about our society and culture . Please read his article in the following URL, before reading further
http://rajaganapathy.wordpress.com/2008/05/19/my-anger-part-i/
Raja, First of all Congratulations to you and Elaine. Felt really proud and glad when you told me that you are getting married. Kudos for your stubborn!!
I’m not going to offend you completely for your article (as you are expecting). I do accept you to certain extent but your article has hyped other culture as a safe, intellectual, hardworking and our culture as violent, money minded and caste based. I do not know how to react on your ignorance. Atleast you had known that our culture is dated back 2500 years, happy about that. Culture is something that undergoes constant changes as per human needs and wish. ( 2500 varusathuku munnadi elai thalaioda alanchaanga, innaiku apdiya?). In olden days men were wearing kovanam (innaiku ethana peru kovanam kattitu irukaanunga) women were not wearing jacket (Ravikai) but today if a women is not wearing a jacket it’s an offense.
Tell me which culture does not have violence, What happened in your neighbouring country Malaysia couple of months back, which does not differ much with the so called caste based violence that you have mentioned. ( To remind you there have been constant violence among the nationalities in Sinagpore too). Let me tell you something about America ( ellarukum nallathu kettathu solra naatamai). Do you know the risk involved in leading a life here in the US? In the past six months , five Indian students have been killed for money ( Do you think this is a safer culture). I hope you might have read about the mass university shooting incidents. ( safer Culture!!?). Almost every American holds a gun for safety. To know more about the racial discriminations , I would recommend you to watch the movie ‘ Crash’ . People are at constant threat here, the amount that one would be sued is directly proportional to the wealth one possess. ( even if he commits a very minor,uninjured accident) . Europe is well known for racist acts, Australia is not far away too. What about Mid-east , Africa – safer?? It looks as if people were leading a happy and wealthy life, incontrast the depresssion rate is very high in western countries.
Every culture has it own pros and cons. You cannot say one is better than the other. If you look on the negative part alone then the culture would appear worst .Having been fascinated by western culture, why did you wait for your parents approval? You are independent and you could have got married without even letting them know (like a western guy) . But you waited and marrying her in typical cultural style. Isn’t that a victory to our culture?
கருப்பு கண்ணாடி போட்டுட்டு பாத்தா எல்லாமே கருப்பா தான் தெரியும், அத கழட்டிட்டு பாருங்க வெளிச்சமும் தெரியும்! சு.ப. வீரபாண்டியன் அப்படின்னு ஒரு பேராசிரியர் ‘கனவு….காதல்….கொஞ்சம் கடமை ‘ அப்படின்னு ஒரு அருமையான கட்டுரை எழுதிட்டு வர்றார். முடிஞ்சா படிச்சு பாருங்க , அவருடைய வலைதள முகவரி, http://subave.blogspot.com . கலாச்சாரத்த பத்தி கொஞ்சம் தெரிஞ்சுக்கலாம்.
Elaine P Ganapathy சொன்னார்
Vivek, thank you for the greetings.
Very well written man.
World is not perfect after all. Degree of violence varies from each & every part of the world. Lots of people are unaware of facts. They are handicapped as they didn’t have the privilege to go to school to sharpen their brains, & hone their talents. They might have grown to environment where violence exists and it’s either “kill or die” situation. Noone is there to help them. So, these people tend to do unacceptable things to survive in the society where they belong. But as an educated person, how can we help these people to realize their wrong-doings? You may not help them directly, but you can help to spread the words. As the saying goes, “Words are mightier than the double-bladed sword”. Why do we need to be violent about certain disputes? Help spread the information, the facts and reality. And make them realize what are the right things to do, & how to go about it. We can help them by showing good deeds, well manners, and proper values. Let’s share our knowledge on how to LIVE with DIGNITY & RESPECT with others. Be a good example to everyone. Have you ever felt good just by doing something worthy/good in your life? These things are not to be flaunt about. It’s a good feel that you are able to help, than be the one who is asking for help.
I consider myself to be very lucky to have been brought up in a family where education is highly valued. Another saying is there, “Don’t give a man a fish, instead teach him how to fish.” My parents have prepared me to this “not-so-magical” world by being so strict and guarded me to finish my studies. Once, Raja told me that I’m living in a dream, it’s maybe because I am/had been an ideal person. I always want justice. Reward the good-doers and punished the wrong-doers. But still, come to think of it, does that mean that if you grew up in a violent environment, you won’t even think of doing good things to other people, to your society, for your country, to the world? Do you want to be like the person who hurted you, and revenge is the only thing that will put your mind at peace?
What Raja’s blog is all about? Don’t get him wrong, he is NOT AGAINST your culture. Factly, I am fascinated by your culture. Furthermore, he is proud to be an Indian. The article have just emphasized on things where he gets frustrated because some people are doing bad things to each other. Frustrated that some people are putting their self in a pedestal and looking down to others (instead of understanding & knowing them). Well, as said we are not living in an ideal world.
I have not been exposed to violence directly, but I’ve heard a lot and seen a lot of it through media. I grew up in Manila, which is the capital city of the Philippines. I have never claimed that it’s a safe place to live on. Crime rate varies in different places in Philippines. Some places are with a very high crime rate, for real. But truth is, Singapore has a very low (not zero) crime rate compare to other countries. Where in the world can you roam around in the middle of the night and not to worry if you can get home safely? I am here in Singapore and I have compared how safer it is to live here than my own. Sad to admit, but true. Well, reality bites eh!
Cheers!
Raja சொன்னார்
Vivek and every Tamils whose blogging and reading , I’m not here to say any culture is better or worst than our culture. I can only critisize the culture in which i grew up , the problem here is i’ve told the people of different classes. Everyone who surf here including you, has been brought up in safe, healthy, urban environment. Have your ever seen a violence ?, a caste riot ?, actively participated to protect you and your family?, your uncle and cousin has been chopped by a mob?, funded to kill?. Its not at all exaggeration, Its fact , i can send you details personally.
You are talking about all west, south east , middle east. I agree racism is there every where only difference is , there, A white humiliates a black , An Australian humiliatesan Asian, An American humiliates African/Asain, A jew humiliates a muslim and so on , but only in our place A TAMIL humiliates a fellow TAMIL based on caste.
In villages, every one goes to fields and plough lands and do the necessary filed activity, eat there and things like that. This is the day – day activity of all , irrespective of castes , religion. The how come, one caste being drowned , humiliated by other, man, i dont understand in which way one is higher than others.Weird society.hmmm. If they want to think of inequality its like brahmans should humiliate others but how come these tamil castes humiliating one another. Weird , weird people , thinking themselves pride for nothing. Be part of it and happy about it my boy.
In all society , People will give a hand and help the oppressed ones, not crushing them over and over by all means. Only in your Tamil society people cant digest some one from other caste doing better.
I too knew about Mr.Suba veerapandian, who actively talks for the problems in srilanka , malaysia rather than trying to eradicate the burning problems in his own land. These guys talk about domination of ARYANS and dont want to talk about inqualities around him within the TAMILS.This is all humbug to me , First try to make your Tamils respect each others.Then you can fight against Aryans/Jews ,,whoever, blah , blah.
You knew about Nyanni. He is an writer , brahmin by caste and never wore poonul.As u say , ARYAN. Are you aware of his struggles to eradicate inequalities in just serving TEA? (iratai tumbler).
You knew why my family has been doing atleast bit well in academic. Its only because my visionary father moved from my native village,bought a house and settled near a Agrahaaram, where i have the chance to grew up with all brahmans , They are forward people and ready to accept the FACTS and they are happy seeing everyone IMPROVING.I salute them.Aryans are people who can adopt to the latest happenings and can encourage good things.They are far better than the so called Tamil Desiyavaathigal.
The problem is, you guys are being carried by wrong people.Its not your mistake, its just you are not part of the warefare. I’m part of it , I knew very well whats really happening.
I’m glad to choose what suits for my next generation. btw who told riots are there in singapore also. hahha . its all over by 70s.come and live here for a month, then you will really feel the difference.
shyam சொன்னார்
dear raja… kudos all those fathers & mothers who brought up their children with a vision and mission in their thoughts.. in one of the tamil movies the father says to his son who will be very adamant in opening a chain of restaurant. the conversation goes like this.. son says ‘dad.. pls let me go away from this village.. out of this barbaric society who have beleif in violence’ then the father will say ‘u go away from this place.. but before going from here, do something to the people here.. people who beleived in violence are those who toiled themselves to give you a good education, good life’… im not talking about the poor farmers who worked for this big zamindar in his village..but talking about people who pay tax which is used by the government to be spent for Professional education… and the people who pay tax are neither from any other country nor any other society… its ur father, my father, every single earning person irrespective of caste, creed, culture etc., etc., blaming the society as a whole does not make any sense to me. btw… im not sure if you would have got a chance to peep into the poorest of the people in all countries that you lived so far.. you could have spent time with those enlightened (so called, people like you
just kidding) even though you had a chance, you cant compare the poor of that country to that one of our’s… ours is a big country and we have to accept that fact and get on with it.. sorgame endralum athu nammura pola varuma….:-) (sorry to those guys who dont know tamil)
Vivek சொன்னார்
Hi , thanks everyone for your comments! I guess this guy Raja was drunk while writing the article/comment. Whatever he has said is an absolute blabber. What problems that you faced from our society, Please send me the details personally. Dont overact too much!! What non-sense reason have you given for being educated ( stayed near Agraharam ..ha ha ha , super comedy
) . By staying there, did you get educated in IIT? Are you ‘Ekalyvan’, acquired knowldege by hearing the slogans from Agraharam?..A real talent can grew up at any place , it doesn’t need Agraharam.
Recently a poor student from a rural slum has been selected in NASA and the government has agreed to sponsor for his education. Also, Please read about the inspiring IIM graduate’s life , where he grew up and where he is now.
http://www.rediff.com/money/2008/apr/29sarath1.htm
Gnani, is such a hyprocrite and you are supporting him. ( another mega comedy) . To know about Gnani and his punool read , http://arivumathi.blogspot.com/2008/04/blog-post_11.html
By living in a different culture your wisdom should also have grown. You are comparing an urbanized singapore ( which is not even as big as Chennai in size and population) with the rural India. Pity on you, poor chap!!
Wishing you all the best to lead a happy, safe , joyous life in Singapore!!
Elaine, your comments seem to be more knowledgable and unbiased. Indian/Tamil society is not that bad as your guy has narrated. Ofcourse due to population, unemployment and inadequate education , it wont be as good as singapore but it’s rare to see such lovable peoples.
You would be treated like a princess by your in-laws. I’m sure that you’ll admire. All the BEST!
Elaine P Ganapathy சொன்னார்
All you guys, we don’t need to be a part of violent riots to accept the facts. We don’t need to feel the hurt to see the reality. We don’t need to watch “Crash” movie to know the existing reality about discrimination acts of others. Do we have to see God to believe Him???
Vivek, as you said, Raja did his responsibility to his family. You know it very well, as you narrated the things nicely. He did good things to his friends & neighbors too. I am aware of it. Family, friends, neighbors are a small group might be, but these people comprises the society where he came from and where he is now. I find him brilliant, street smart, and a very helpful person. In general, he is a good-hearted person. He doesn’t need to flaunt these things as there are a lot of living proofs (including you) that he did good things to his community, in India and abroad. Lots might have misinterpreted him in a bad way, as he is a fun-loving guy, loves to mock & make fun of others. But this guy is sensible.
Let’s reflect on this: Have we done something good in our own backyard?
Before we can help others, we should help ourselves (by developing our knowledge, gaining experience, obtaining wisdom, succeeding in our career, & saving money). Let’s share the good things to others. And when we are wrong, we have to admit it, learn from it & don’t repeat it.
He is writing an article which attacks the “BAD” things in the society where he grew up (he told good stories also, to me
). [For sure, even if he grew up in a different country with different culture, he will still do the same thing (exposing the worst thing possible)]. But what is his point posting that? He wants all people to realize what kind of cancer the society has. All places/community/country in this world has its own type of cancer. As individual, let us help to cure it, even in a smallest bit possible way.